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Speech 4 Reflection

Start: 

I thought that this speech wen’t very well for our group, and even though we faced some problems in the beginning we really pulled through. That being said I still feel that there were some problems that we could have addressed better if we had more time. The biggest one that we faced is the time we were given to practice this as a group. Everyone of us had completely different schedules and found it extremely difficult to find the time to work together.  We were pretty nervous going into the presentation, because at that time we had only really practiced it about three times. It was the least amount of practice I’ve ever had doing a presentation. This did not really turn out to be a problem because the speech wen’t very well for all of us, but it did contribute to our nervousness. In the future I would like more time to practice in order to avoid nerves. 

One of the other things I would like to start in the future is to rely less on notes. This was also due to our lack of preparation, but it annoyed me because I haven’t needed them in the past. I felt that it was pretty clear that I was using notes throughout the presentation, and it took away from my characters. I always prefer watching speeches when people can just speak from memory and it’s clear that they had put in a lot of preparation. Especially having a role as a revolving character it would have looked much better if I didn’t need to look down at paper to know when I had to speak. 

Stop

One of the things I would like to stop doing is going over the time limit. Even if a speech is very good, I don’t think that most of the class likes to see one run long. This is the second time I’ve done a presentation that drastically goes over the amount were supposed to be talking, and I feel like it’s because of the lack of practice. If we put in more time to practice, we could have cut it down a little more and held on to the classes attention better. 

Continue

I felt that there was many thing in this speech that we all did very well and should continue to do.  One of the things I felt we did very well was to set up a realistic rhetorical situation. The PTA meeting was a good idea for presenting our idea and the discount gave us an excuse to talk to an audience in that setting. I also felt that the revolving characters that I played was a good idea by McCool, because it let us transition into ideas more elegantly. It also showed that we were able to address the concern of our audience. I also really liked how all of us were able to speak about the same amount. We were very well together and I would like to see that in other group projects that I may do in the future. The last thing that I would like to continue doing is to have an extremely well organized presentation. I feel that my organization for speeches have gotten better over time and this was by far the best it’s been. 

Speech 4 Outline

For speech number four my group is taking an abandoned hardware store and making it into a Fun Zone for kids. The store is in Carpentaria and is big enough to accommodate many different  activities. We are planning on putting in a rock wall with a foam pitt at the base, bowling, lazier tag, and two rooms for rent. The building is is going to be called the “dump” and is intended to be for kids who are in their mid-teens. The speech will consist of the creator trying to convince investors to put money into the project. 

McCool: CEO

McCool will try an appeal to the investors by describing  the need for the dump and how it will influence the community for the better. She will describe the “dump” in detail and then explain the financial aspect. 

Me: Investor

I will be an investor who probably has a background in construction. I will be asking McCool question in order for her to bring up more facts about “the dump”, and land on more subjects.

March: Investor

March will be another Investor who has a different background than I do. This will make it easier for McCool to answer more questions and bring up different subjects. 

Jimenez: Teenager,Mother,Citizen

Sarah will be playing three different rolls to show diverse opinion in the community. Her role as a teenager will show that she doesn’t have a lot to do in the town so “the Dump” would be a great place to hang out. As a mother she will explain that this new fun zone will help her kid to stay out of trouble. As a citizen she will bring up the rock climbing wall and say that it is the only access someone like them has to that equipment.

The design of our Prezi is in the form of a Blue Print and will show the layout of “The Dump”. 

The research that we have to do will encompass many aspects. 

• The driving distance between Santa Barbara and Carpentaria. This will show the Lack of activities that kids in Carpentaria have access too.
• Crime rates in Carpanteria caused by the Youth. 
• Vandillism reports
• Cost of Land
• Cost of equipment
• Rent Cost

Start, stop, continue. Speech 3

Start

The next speech that I give needs more preparation. I wanted to do a more complex topic for speech number three, but I didn’t give myself enough time. When I did speech number two I had a good amount of preparation time and was able to give a presentation that I was proud of. When I prepared for this speech I gave myself as much time to prepare as I did with the second one. This was a mistake. 

Another thing that I would like to start doing is to make sure that I cite my sources for my prezi. I didn’t mention any of my sources when I was talking to the class, even though I used many examples of execution methods from history. It makes me feel like my speech lacked credibility, even though the examples were historically accurate. 

The next thing that I wan’t to focus on more is the way I present myself to the class. When I did speech two I moved around a lot, which made me more engaging to the audience. Unfortunately, for speech three I mostly stood by the computer. This was clearly not as entertaining for the class and did not command attention as it should have. 

During my practice of speech three I failed to end it on the same time consistently. Sometimes I would fall under the time limit and sometimes I would be over the limit. When I actually gave the presentation the the class, I wen’t one minute over the four minute limit. I don’t really know how this happened, but in the future I would very much like to end when I am supposed too. 

I felt that the topic I was giving was of some importance and I needed a strong finish to make my point. The problem I faced with my speech was that I didn’t feel like a gave a strong closing statement. I really wanted to craft my words in a way that would make people think, but instead I jumbled my words around so much that what I said didn’t really seem to stick. I n the the next speech I really wan’t to be able to make a strong well crafted closing statement. 

Stop:

 For speech number four I would really like to stop looking so uncomfortable when I am talking. I don’t really look natural when I am up there and I feel like it takes away from the presentation. 

Another thing that I would like to stop is my use of “um”. Especially when I am doing a topic that is of importance. I feel that it makes me sound unintelligent and doesn’t give me credibility when talking about my subject. 

I also want to stop looking at the power point so much when I talk. Speech number two went pretty well, but I felt that for speech number three I was back to looking at the computer. When ever I put to much focus on the computer I end up speaking very mechanically, which brings me to my next point. For speech number three I would like to stop speaking so monotoned. My voice really didn’t change pitch throughout the presentation, so it made for a very boring five minutes. 

Continue:

I would like to continue giving speeches that have interest to me. I really liked the topic that I chose to talk about, and felt that it is something that should be addressed. This is something that I feel all speeches should have, because most of the time the one speaking will do a better job.

I would also like to continue speaking directly to my audience and really scan the room. This made me look less nervous and helped to engage more with the audience. I didn’t just stick to one side of the room as I often do. 

Another thing that I would like to continue is opening up with another strong opening statement. I feel that it helped me to engage with the class and keep people interested even though they may not have liked the rest. 

Ryan Fotchman: I felt that Ryan gave a good speech because of the way he focused his prison sweatshop topic on bringing manufacturing back to the U.S. I felt like it was a creative way of making a controversial subject more appealing. 

Conner Thompson: I liked when he threw the change onto the table. It kept me very interested in his speech and made it more fun to watch. Thats something that I wouldn’t think to do. 

Nick: Nicks presentation was funny and I thought he made his point more credible when he showed the video of the size of the universe. 

Executions should be public

Intro 

I will start off by introducing myself and my topic. After I have done this I will begin to try and explain how the general population no longer looks at prisoners like people. This will lead me into my argument about how public executions will bring more humanity to the prisoners themselves. 

History

I have a lot of research to do but I want to examine the history of public executions. I want to see how they started and why they stopped. In my opinion they used to be extremely violent and public, but over time they have gotten less violent and less public. This seems to be because as societies grow smarter, the less capable we are to handle violence. I wan’t the history to show that we have become more and more uncomfortable with executions and thats why they became private. There’s a reason that we don’t want to see it and thats because in the back of our minds we know its wrong. Looking at historical facts will be the bulk of my speech. 

Modern day executions and prison system

In this section I will attempt to appeal to our own feelings about prisoners. I want people to see that they really don’t think about prisoners like people, because they don’t see them. They have been hidden away from public view. Then I will say that if we saw them get executed we would be aware that they were in fact a person and it is wrong to kill them, no matter their crime. This is intended to get people to think about not just executions, but the larger issue of prisoner rights and the need for transparency. I believe that public executions can cause all around reform to the whole institution. 

Start, Stop, continue. Speech 2

Start

The first thing I need to do is to plan out my speeches more within the guidelines of the rubric. Speech number two went very well for me, but I scored low on some of the easiest categories. When I was supposed to give background knowledge of the genre, I failed to do so. I really didn't give anything, instead I just made an assumption that the audience knew what I was talking about. Another example is when I failed to do any research and just spoke from personal experience. I wanted to show some charts or statistics that related to my subject, but I didn't know how to properly implement them into my speech. This was a problem, because I was speaking from the point of view of the officer for the whole time. Speaking in first person just confused me a little bit when it came to that. Finally the last thing I would like to start doing is to talk more about the speakers moves. I didn’t explain in detail the reason for why the cop was doing what he was doing. The purpose of his actions was not always made clear. Even though I summed up a lot of his “moves”, I could have done a better job. 

Stop

The first thing that I would like to stop doing is my shaking. Its funny because I don't really feel nervous when I go up to present. The beginning of the speech I’m always fine and then half way through I can feel my legs start to shake. Then a couple seconds later my hands will start to go. For this speech I don’t think it was noticeable, because I was able to move behind the podium once I realized I couldn't control it. I would very much like to get in control of this so that I can put all of my attention on to the speech, instead of trying to control my nerves. Another thing that I would like to stop is focusing my attention right above people eye’s. I do it so that it looks like I’m looking at a person, but I just do it to control my nerves. I think that I could give a much better speech if I actually look at my audience. I’m not connecting with them as well as I could be. Next I would like to stop slouching so much. I didn’t notice this when I was up there but after watching the video of myself, I saw the need for a change. I feel that correcting this problem could really help with my nerves. I could feel more powerful and important if I stood up there in a power pose. I just need to trick myself into feeling more important. Another thing I don’t want to do again is to improvise what I’m saying. I practiced this presentation much more than the other one and I wanted to say things in a very specific way. Unfortunately once I got up in front of people I didn’t say things the way or order I was supposed to. Once I made this mistake I ended up forgetting important aspects of the speech. Luckily it wasn’t noticeable. The last thing I would like to never do again is to hit my head on the TV when I’m up in front of everybody. Its not the best way of dealing with my nerves. 

Continue

One of the things I would like to continue to do is my hand motions. I did a much better job with moving around and being more interesting to the audience. I felt that people were much more attentive to what I was saying and I felt like this had a lot to do with that. Another thing that I would like to continue to do is to speak more audibly and at a pace that moves the speech along. I felt like I had a lot to say and never really had to stall for time. I was also very pleased with how my speech was exactly five minutes long. I practiced a lot to get that time and it paid off. If I can do this again in the future that would be great. 

Student Moves

One of the speeches that I enjoyed was Mackenzie's. I liked how she also did her speech from the point of view of the person she was analyzing, but unlike me she found a way to implement more research into her’s without making the whole thing seem clunky. I thought she did a very good job of acting in a way that resembled an oscars award host and used the same tone of voice that a lot of them do. She also had active audience interaction that is common in many award shows. 

Another speech I enjoyed was Sarah’s. I enjoyed how she gave multiple examples for all the information she was using. At one point she explained how if her friend was the one getting married, she would tell a joke. She then gave us two examples of jokes that she might have used. She was also able to give us research so that we could better understand what it would be like.

Speech 2

Speech 2 Rough Draft

Speech Genre: Cop giving someone a ticket

I would be on Del Playa walking through the streets and see a person walking with alcohol hiding in their coat pocket. I would then sneak over to him in the crowd so I could talk to him. 

First I would walk up and stand in front of him.

• I would ask, “sir, is that an open container of alcohol in your pocket.
• Because he’s a little intoxicated and not sure what to do, he’ll say yes.
• Once he does this I’ll say “ok well then can you come over here sir”, and I’ll grab him by the arm and tell him to sit on the curb.

Next I would start asking him basic questions.

• I ask him whats in the bottle and when he tell’s me I say something such as “Oh, thats dangerous”, even though its really not necessary to tell him that.
• I’ll ask him how old is he is and he’ll tell me that he’s nineteen
• Once he says this I’ll ask him if he knows its against the law to drink before the age of 21, even though I know he already knows that. 
• I’ll then start to give him a lecture about the dangers of drinking underaged. For example…
• I might say that binge drinking can lead to death
• Drinking can lead to violent behavior 
• or drinking can lead to you driving intoxicated. 
• Then I’ll say that I’ve seen a lot of kids go down a bad path from drinking underaged, and that he should be carful to watch out for that in the future. 

After that, I will start to get his information so that I can start to write the ticket.

I’ll ask for things such as…

• His home address
• His phone number
• I’ll even ask him where he was headed too.

Finally

• I will ask him to give me the bottle, and then I will pour it out in front of him
• I will tell him when he is expected in court and why he has to go
• Then as I hand him a $600 ticket I will thank him for making this encounter so easy for me.

Start, stop, continue

Steven Barela 

The Pre-speech

My pre speech was good because I was able to get my point across to the audience and also set up the rhetorical situation I would be in. The Pre-speech was that I would be in the Macy’s elevator and I would run into my roommate Joey. I saw that Joey was buying a frying, which gave me an opportunity to talk to him about cooking safety and being cleaner around the house. 

Start:

• I would like to start using my hands more when I am talking
• It would be better if I was more energetic when talking, especially if it was supposed to be a conversation with my friend. I didn’t have enough passion when I was speaking even though it was something that really effected me. 
• Since it was a conversation, it would be better if I talked faster and hit my points quicker.
• I need to start using an opposing perspective so I can better communicate with my audience as to why I am right. 
• I need to do that so I can defend my point better. It will also help me to think about what they will use against me. This way I can really think about whether or not I agree with what I am actually saying. 
• I need to start using better transitions between my thoughts so that I can develop a proper flow for my speech. 
• I need to change up how I use my tone. I talked the same way throughout the entire speech and it started to get boring towards the end. If I don’t change my tone it would have annoyed my roommate instead of really informing him. 
• I need to start making more eye contact with the real audience. I used a person to stand in for my roommate. Even though this helped for my nerves it would have been better practice to actually talk to the whole class. 
• For my next speech I should work on trying to make it go well over the time limit so I am not as worried about my limit. When I think it may be to short it causes me to feel more nervous and messes with my pacing. When I was watching myself I noticed that I was talking much slower than I really would be to my roommate. 

Stop

• I need to stop being so motionless when I am presenting. I noticed that when I was talking, my left hand only left my pocket once. The other one was usually by my side. I also stood in one spot throughout the entire conversation. It looked very mechanical and nervous. 
• I also need to stop making my argument into a list. I didn’t like how all I did was tell my roommate all the things he was doing wrong. It creates a more hostile atmosphere and there’s less of a chance that the issue would be resolved. 
• I need to stop talking so quietly. I struggled to hear myself when re-watching the video. Even though I was the main subject of my video, the class room laughter was louder than myself. 
• I should not have used my other roommate as credibility unless he was there with me. 
• I used far to many filler words while giving my speech. I kept saying “umm” and “like”, but the one that bothered me the most was how I kept saying “you know what I mean”. It was very noticeable and kind of annoying after the first couple of times. I was aware that I was saying it during the speech, but I couldn't seem to stop. 

Continue

• I would like to continue speaking clearly so that everyone can understand me. Usually when I get nervous I start to stutter or slur my words. This is one of the first times that I was able to speak clearly throughout the whole presentation. 
• I would like to continue making my speech long enough. Nearly every speech I have ever given has been to short, because I forget certain points due to nerves. I was very prepared this time and only forgot to say the opposing viewpoint.
• The audience laughed during certain parts of my speech and I felt like they were engaged. 
• I liked how I was able to refrain from using my notecard. All the points I was trying to make where outlined on the card, but I was able to remember most of them. I only had to glimpse at the card once, but it surprisingly did not affect the pacing of my presentation. 
• The main thing I would like to continue doing is adapting the language to my audience’s needs. The way I was speaking made sense in the context of the situation and I would like that to continue in later speeches. 

Elevator Pitch

Rhetorical situation where I run into my roommate in the Macy’s elevator. 

Hey Joey, oh cool your buying a new pan for cooking. Look before you use that, I just want to talk to you about washing that after your done cooking on it. I’m getting really worried that your going to give yourself food poisoning if you continue to cook things the same way. I’m telling you this because I’ve noticed you doing a couple things that are really unsafe. The other day you made chicken and didn’t clean the pan. Then you went back the next day and fried chicken on the same pan. Now I know you told me that it was clean enough because you did wash it, but all you did was run water over it. Joey, I really can't stress to you enough about how unsafe that is. Old meat is dangerous to eat and chicken is probably the worst of them all. I can't always be there to make sure that your keeping your food sanitary, so I'm just making sure you know how important it is to keep it clean.

Tell him the dangers of cooking with old food. 

Counter argument: He thinks its safe just to wash it with water.